The iPad Technological Revolution!

Since Apple has just announced the new iPad, I thought I would do a quick review of it. Nah... I am just shamelessly whoring for traffic like others here, here, here, and here. So instead, let me go through some of the technological advances in my lifetime that I have and have not embraced.

1. iPad - I have no intention of ever buying one. I see no use for it in my life. I have tried reading books/newspapers/etc. on an object similar to the iPad, and it doesn't work for me. I can search for what I want far faster with a paper whatever than I can with some electronic device (unless I happen to know the exact keyword or phrase I am looking for). That is not to say that I don't read stuff off of the computer. I read lots off of the computer. But it isn't laid out in traditional book/newspaper format.

2. iPhone - No need for one of these either. In fact you could put the entire cellphone concept in this category. I will admit, I have a Tracphone (pre-paid cell phone) that I use whenever I go on vacation. If I ever am in a dire emergency and need to use a phone, I'll borrow one from one of the 5 billion people in the world who have one. I don't even care if they charge me.

3. iPod - (are you noticing a pattern here) Once again, no need for this one. I don't listen to music like I did when I was a kid. I have never had a portable CD player either. I did have a walkman once or twice, but looking back, it was probably a complete waste of money. People who have the headphones of their iPod stuck in their ears all the time annoy me. Do you honestly have nothing better in life to do? Have you ever heard of talking to people (I know complete strangers are scary, but get over it already)?

4. Mac - Apple made a big mistake when it decided it was going to be stingy with software rights for the Mac. So for a while no one made it (not literally, but in effect yes), hence the PC grabbed the entire market. I remember in college a friend showing me the new mac OS X operating system. He raved on and on about how stable it was and how it was based on Unix (and Mac people accuse Microsoft of copying their product). Then we asked what programs he had for it (primarily what cool games 20ish boys would want to spend hours playing). None, there wasn't really any that he could buy. Was he poor? No, there were no games that would run on the new system. Period. Gosh, stability is great when all it will do is boot up the computer.

5. Personal computers - Yeah, I latched on to these real quick. The Apple IIc we had when I was a kid had much better games than the Atari 2600. Now I am at the point where I have more computers in the house than adults. And yes, the primary purpose of computers is to play games. Even my mom will tell you that in college she would take her punch cards down to the computer lab and they wouldn't be able to run it until midnight because they had a pong tournament going on.

6. Segway - this was suppose to revolutionize the way we lived. Eh...not so much. More like give yuppies with too much money (or credit) an excuse to get fat. Never ridden one, no desire to.

7. Rollerblades - I liked rollerskating when I was a kid, so in high school when I could buy my own rollerblades I did. I gave them to a friend while I was out of the country for two years, and I never did get them back. Unfortunately, I have never found a pair comparable to that one.

8. New cars - OK this isn't a technological advance, but still. My car is 17 years old. It still runs so I have no intention of getting a new one for the next couple of years.

9. Ebay - Yeah, I recognized the value of this pretty quick. I have had my account since 1998. Sure I may not be a top seller or buyer, but I have never had anything but a + rating. And I have gotten rid of a lot of stuff that probably would have just been thrown away.

10. Automatic bill pay - How could you not love this? Besides Christmas cards and a few magazine subscriptions, there isn't much I need my mailbox for now. Or my checkbook. About 7 years ago I bought a program that could print out checks. I haven't had a "traditional" checkbook yet. And I probably write less than a dozen checks each year.

11. Netflix - This is one I have waffled on. While I couldn't think of how I could imbibe in so much pointless entertainment to justify getting a subscription, now I am looking at is as a way to get a lot of the educational videos that my kids can use for home school.

As you can see from this short list, Apple is pretty much a useless company to me. That is not to say that I wouldn't invest in it. There are plenty of lemmings that buy their products just to have the latest and greatest that their stock price has performed admirably.